Can't let you go
by NeUmA.S.J
Summary: Adam thinks about his story with Kris
1. The beginning

The nice lady was looking at me with something that I couldn't recognize playing in her eyes. "So Adam, 'Can't Let you go' it's a bonus song in your debut album, and we wanted to know: Why it's a bonus and how did you choose it?"

Now I know what was in her eyes.. it was that whole accomplice thing that some fans have... Kris thinks it's amazing, I think that sometimes is kind of scary, I mean, right now it looks like she's reading my mind, and this tought is kind of unconfortable...

I had to answer her and I already knew what I was going to say. "Well... I chose it because it has a nice rock vibe, it's such an amazing song, but it ended up being a bonus because it didn't really fit with the rest of the tracks on the album; it's a haunting song with all kind of influences from other genres and kind of exceeds the boundaries of the type of music that was on the rest of the record." She is looking at me like she knows I'm lying... there's no way that she can know that, right? See what I meant by scary? My publicist is pointing to her watch and that means that the time ended, and I had never been happier to see her.

I'm finaly in my car... I honestly wish I could tell the truth (no pun intended). It all started on the idols tour, no... It started when Kris and I became room mates...

I don't think it's that much of big news that I think Kris is cute, well, totally my tipe... God I told rolling stone about it! What might be big news is that Kris isn't 100% straight. Is more like 50%... okay now it's 30/20% but when I met him he was 50%.

He told me he was bi right after I told him I was gay... I still laugh when I remember our talk...

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"So Kris... I gotta tell you something" I was nervous; after all he was the cute arkansas Christian boy. "I'm gay... I understand if you decide to change rooms or something like that"

He stoped unpacking, looked at me and said "well... I'm bi so it would be kind of hypocritical if i did that." My eyes seemed to want to pop out of my head, he looked at me and started laughing "Dude, you should see your face right now" and started looking for something inside his bag "I gotta take a picture of that... Something tells me that you don't get that surprise very often"

"Sure as hell I don't... But I never met a married bissexual. Sorry if that took me off guard"  
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That was the beginnig of our friendship... I don't know why, but I always felt like it would eventually turn into something else, but I kept that for myself. He was married, and Katy was a nice girl, I couldn't hurt her.

Then we both got into the top 13, and moved to the mansion, me and Kris kept sharing a room, and I kept feeling that something big was about to happen. Then the pics leaked out, I couldn't believe, and once again there he was, he and Allison. I don't know what I would've done without them...

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"It's not the end of the world Adam. Tuesday you're gonna sing and everybody will be so impressed by your voice that the pics will be forgotten!" Allison's red hair seemed to be glowing. "She's right Adam... What are you going to sing?" I hadn't thought about it, I was to busy thinking about how america would react to the pics. "I don't know yet... I was thinking about Thriller..."

I looked at Kris and he had an 'I'm thinking really hard' face on. Then he had a grin. "What about 'Black or White'? It would be amazing; people would get that you're not talking about color but sexuality" Alli started jumping "That's a great Idea Kris! Do it Adam, It would be a 'fuck you' to people that are paying attention to your sexuality instead of your singing!"

I had really enjoyed the Idea. "Okay then! I'm gonna sing Black or White!"

Although the performance wasn't that good (my voice was all over the place) it felt good to tell people that it didn't matter if you were gay or straight, American Idol is a singing competition.

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"Adam? Adam!" A knock on my car window dragged me out of my toughts. It was the lady that had interviewed me. I open the car window. "Are you okay?" I smile at her "Yeah, I just got lost in my toughts" she looked at me in a way that made me feel like she knew what I had been thinking about. Once again: Scary "Oh... Okay, I just you may need some help. Well, good night!" And she was gone. My cellphone started ringing. It's Kris.

"Hi Kris!"

"Hey Adam. Have you gotten out of your interview?"

"Yeah, I did. Why?"

"Well, I get home and find out we have no food. We have ice cream, but not food."

"Yeah... when I got back I kinda ate a restaurant... I didn't want to go to a grocery store, and as I got back early my mom didn't had time to buy us food" And I knew what he was going to say now

"So... you didn't bought food but bought Ice cream... sometimes I think you would trade me for a sundae..."

He loves talking about my 'ice cream issue' as he calls it

"I would never do that baby... You should know!"

"Okay... but bring food when you come back! I'm hungry!"

"Sure thing. Bye. Loveya"

"Loveya too. Don't forget the food" I could hear him chuckling when I hung up

It's amazing how we work out. As I wait for the food I get lost in my thoughts once again.


	2. Katy

_**Italic – Text messages**_

_It's amazing how we work out. As I wait for the food I get lost in my thoughts once again. _

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I remember when Katy came to the mansion for the first time. She came visit Kris on the top 11 week... We had an interesting talk... One of the weirdest I've ever had

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I was in our room when Kris came in dragging a cute little blond girl. "Adam! I was looking for you! Look who's here! Katy!" She was blushing, that was cute!

She extended her hand for me to shake "Hi, Adam! Is everything okay?" I kissed her hand (and she seamed to be blushing even more) "Yeah, and with you?" She and Kris were so cute together. "Everything is okay!". She looked at me like she didn't know if she should say something "Were you this tall last time?" I laughed "I guess so!"

The first time we met, we didn't talk, Kris only introduced her and then they went out. This time a few minutes later me and her were talking and laughing like we were old friends. We talked about clothes, hair, Kris plaid shirts, Kris'jeans, and Kris' hair. For some reason he didn't seem to be comfortable with the last three. So he went out to grab us some soda. She got serious.

"I know Kris told you he is bi. I have no problem with it. The thing is: I see the way you look at my husband and I see that your friendship is turning into something deeper" I opened my mouth to say something. "I know, I know… He didn't realize that yet but I know him well enough and long enough to know that he's gonna see that he has a thing for you sooner or later…"

I couldn't believe nor understand what she was saying. "What you mean**,** Katy? I'm kinda lost here" she looked at me like she was gathering all her strength to explain her point to me.

"You're an attractive guy, Adam. The kind of guy everyone wants to be with. What I'm saying is: If something happens between you and Kris I'm gonna understand. Here is away from home, for both of you, and you'll need someone to hold on to."

I remember thinking I had heard it wrong. I mean, what kind of wife would do that? Until now she's the only one I'd heard of. I was afraid of asking, but I had to "You're sure?" She looked at me, her eyes showing confidence. "Yeah, I'm sure."

I had no words… I opened and closed my mouth several times. She laughed "You look like a fish out of the water! Kris told me you look funny when you are surprised!" I had to laugh. "Yeah! And you two are, apparently, masters in the art of surprising me! Does Kris know about your idea?" She looked a bit unsure. "I haven't talked to him yet… I had to talk to you before talking to him… You could not accept the idea. The only thing is: when the show and the tour, because I know you're both going on the tour, are over, you two will be over too. That's my only requirement."

Well… It's better to have and lose than never have in the first place. Right? Wrong! But I didn't knew that yet so I agreed. I hugged her so tightly that when Kris came in he had an interesting look on his face. "Dude, are you trying to suffocate my wife? That's not good you know? You can go to jail for that!" And then we were all laughing and he sat next to her.

After a lot of excuses from my part ("I'm fat, can't eat pasta"; "I'm not hungry"; "I'm tired"; "I gotta rehearse 'Ring Of Fire' once again" ) they went to dinner. Katy winked at me when they were going away. I remember thinking "It's now or never"

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"Sir? Sir?" Someone calling dragged me out of my thoughts once again. I looked at the gentleman holding the bag with food. "Your order. Can I get you something else?" "No thanks"

I grab the food and start making my way to the car… As I got into the car I saw a text from Kris.

"_Are you trying to kill me making me starve to death?" _Always the drama queen!

"_No bb… I'm already getting home =)" _

"_You're bringing food like__,__ real food__,__ right?" _

"_Yeah__,__ then we can eat ice cream as dessert! =]]" _Now I'm just teasing him… Kinda

"_OMG I gotta find you an ice cream rehab"_

The elevator was taking longer than usual to came down. And that was enough for me to drift back to old memories

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**PS: Adam is always talking about how "fat" he was during Idol… I'm still looking for the fat, but who am I to disagree with him?**


	3. Kiss

**This chapter took a completly oposit direction from what I intended in the first place... Hope you enjoy it =^]**

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**The elevator was taking longer than usual to came down. And that was enough for me to drift back to old memories**

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Kris came back late from diner...I pretended to be sleeping. While he was out he was thinking about how I would bring the subject out. I ended up concluding that if he wanted to talk about it, he would try to wake me up.

"Adam? Adam, are you awake?" He was talking loud enough for me to hear but low enough that he wouldn't wake me up if I was really sleeping. "Yeah, I am. How was diner?" He sat next to me. "Let's say… Interesting… Did Katy talk to you?" I sat up, next to him. "She did, but I'll understand if you tell me you don't want to do it. Nothing will change between us if you said no."

He was looking at his feet. "I'm confused, ya know? I mean, before tonight I didn't even knew I felt something for you that was more then friendship… Now I can't even think about saying no to Katy's proposal!" I didn't knew what to do. "Come here. Let it all out baby."

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"GOD ADAM! I thought you were never getting here!" Kris is reaching to take the bag of food from my hand. I hide it behind my back. "Don't I get a kiss? I give you shelter, I bring you food and don't get even a little kiss?" He's looking at me like I'm actually planning to starve him to death. He gives me a quick kiss "God Kris, take it, knock your self out!" He looks like a kid opening a present on Christmas morning. " You brought Chinese food! OMG I love you!" and the vision of him shoving Kung Pao chicken inside his mouth makes me laugh. "I'll never leave you without food again" And I get my portion because something tells me that if I don't Kris will eat it too.

After we ate, we decided to watch television. And that's why I found myself watching a rerun of True Blood in my living room. Kris is long gone and I don't want to disturb him, well… I'm comfortable here and waking Kris up after he ate as much as he did tonight is not the brightest idea a person could have.

It's still weird when we have moments like this. I mean everything that could possibly go wrong with us DID go wrong. We had our share of problems, hard times and crying. I hope that now karma will leave us alone… His moth is slightly open and his lips were pink… light pink. I remember the first time I kissed his lips…

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We were laying in bed, my arms were around Kris. "Hey, Adam?" I looked down at him. "Yeah baby?" He looks up, those amazing brown eyes looking like melted chocolate "I really want to kiss you right now… Can I?" I couldn't find my voice so I just nodded.

His lips brushed slightly against mine, like he was testing. I had to use all the strength I had not to pull him closer and kiss him hard and passionately. His lips were pressed against mine again, but harder and I let him guide the kiss. I didn't want to freak him out. I felt his tongue on my bottom lip and I opened my mouth to give him all the access he wanted. The kiss was slow and seemed to be made for that moment.

Then we pulled out, gasping for air. I realized that there was no way the 3 of us would get out of that with our hearts in one piece. I looked into Kris' eyes and I knew I wasn't backing out. I pulled him for another kiss, this one harder, demanding.

He was lying on bed, pulling me with him, making me climb on top of him. I couldn't belive that was actually happening. As I ran out of air , I pulled from his mouth and started kissing his jaw line and his neck. He pulled me up for another kiss. That moment someone knocked on the door.

"Kris? Adam? Are you there?" Kris seemed to have lost his ability to speak I was hoping my voice would come out clear. "Yeah Alli, we're here". I got off Kris and made my way to the door. "Come in sis! What happened?"

She looked exited " It's Tuesday! We got a show tonight! We gotta get ready!" She looked like she had something more to say; Kris knew it too. He looked at her "Say it already Alli... we know you want to say something more..."

She stopped for a second, like she didn't knew if she was seing it or not. "Okay, the thing is: Matt and Anoop told me they heard you talking 'till late last night. And by the fact that your bed is made and you're in Adam's bed I'm guessing you two finally worked out."

To this day I don't know who was more surprised me or Kris. I had to sit down and Alli was laughing her ass off. "You two really thought nobody knew? C'mon!" Kris was the first one to say something. "How could you know if I found out yesterday?"

"Not only did I knew, but I also won the bet" Alli loughed even harder looking at us

"Bet? What bet?" Me and Kris said simultaneously

"The bet of how long would take for you to realize you needed each other."

Mat**t** and Anoop chose that moment to show up.

Both stoped when they saw Alli laughing and me and Kris sitting on my bed with a amazed look on our faces "Dam you Alli! I can't believe you won that bet!"

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Okay... My arm is tingling and I can't stay in this position any longer... I'll have to wake Kris up. " Baby? Kris, wake up! Let's go to bed... Kris!". He started growling... Always the drama queen. "C'mon Kris... Let's go" He looked at me and give me a small smile. "I was dreaming about our first kiss.."

"And I was thinking about the way Alli ruined the moment"


	4. Acceptance

_**Sorry it took longuer then usual to post this one… I had a kind of writters block…**_

_**This chapter title was hard... Hope this one fits...**_

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_He looked at me and give me a small smile. "I was dreaming about our first kiss.."_

_"And I was thinking about the way Alli ruined the moment"_

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"I won the bet! I won the bet!" Alli was screaming on top of her lungs wile we were making our way to the kitchen. "What bet did you win, Alli?" I heard Megan asking as Alli jumped into the kitchen. When me and Kris got into the kitchen her eyes traveled from Alli to us. "OH MY GOD! I can't believe! You two are together? I'm so happy for you!" And then she, Lil, Alexis and Alli were hugging us

"I can't breathe girls!" Kris was almost screaming wile I only chuckled. "Don't smash my baby! I just got him!" That made all of us laughs. Then we sat around the table and ate, wile Alli was stuffing her pockets with the money from the bet. Everything was perfect, until Danny decided to talk.

"What about Katy, Kris? Do you think it's fair for her if you start fooling around with Adam? That's just disgusting!" I was about to give him an answer when Kris squeezed my hand tightly. "Actually, Danny, this was her idea." His eyes were so big that I could bet they were about to fall from his face. "You're saying your wife told you to be with Adam?" Everyone was looking at us, except Scott, maybe, but I'm sure he was listening to every single word that was being said on that table.

"Yeah, she did… And I'm happy she did that". Sarver seamed to be so disgusted that he was going to puke. Anoop, trying to easy the tension looked at his watch. "We gotta be out of here in 20 minutes. Let's go get ready"

The rest of the day was perfect. I had Kris next to me and everything seemed to be going to work out. I just had to ignore Danny and Sarver's looks. The show that night was amazing. Before going to the stage Kris pulled me out of the green room "Tonight's song is for you. Wile I was choosing it and working on the arrangement I knew it wasn't for Katy. Now I know, it's for you" And with that he was gone to the stage… to sing "To Make You Feel My Love"

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"Kris… Could you stop teasing me?" Kris is kissing my jaw line and my neck, the sun is shining outside and, I gotta admit, is a nice way of waking up… "No, can't do, sorry. I just don't think I've kissed all your freckles and that's still my goal" Kris and his obsession with my freckles. "If I need an ice cream rehab you need a therapist to take care of your 'kissing freckles' addiction"

He's just grinning against my skin… I pull him up and kiss him, in a very demanding way. He pulls away a bit "Don't start something you're not going to finish" I look into those eyes. God I wish I could look into them for the rest of my life. "Who said I'm not going to finish?"

"Look at the clock… You gotta go get ready and meet Alli at God-only-knows-where you're going to shop."

"WE gotta go get ready and meet Alli at the store. I'm getting ride of some of your plaid shirts. Starting with that blue one. I can't stand seeing that anymore!"

"This is how you're going to enjoy my first day here? We're going away in a few days!"

"You can bet your ass that's what I want to do! I want us to buy you new clothes so I can rip the old ones out of your body" I know that will convince him. "So… are you going with us?"

"Sure!" Then his cell starts ringing. He looks at the visor "I gotta take this… Is my publicist"

"Okay… I'll take a shower"

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We got back from the show and everyone went to their own rooms… Take off the makeup, take of the clothes and we were going to meet at the television room to watch the show.

Kris went to take a bath first. I was waiting for him to get out, so I could get in when Sarver knocked on our door. "Can I come in?" I knew something interesting would come out of that "Sure…" He opened the door and stood next to it. "You know… I have nothing against you being gay or whatever. The thing is that I'm not used to people so…" He seemed to be looking for words to describe me, so I helped him "Flamboyant? Over the top?"

"Yeah, I'm not used to people so flamboyant around me. Where I'm from, you're either in the closet or you're dead" He looked a bit too out of his comfort zone, I really felt that the guy would get used to all of this, but he was going to need time "Don't worry Sarver… With time you'll learn to accept different people… No need to get too far from your comfort zone now"

Kris got out of the bath, looked at Sarver and gave me a puzzled look "What are you guys talking about?"´

"About Sarver taking his time to get along with me and my flamboyantness" I said grinning "Yeah, just talking don't worry Kris" and with that Sarver was gone and Kris was looking at me like he hadn't really believed on our story.

Things went almost easy for us… an occasional sided look from Gokey. But as the show continued our time together was reducing. As the mansion was getting emptier we got even more connected. I had already gotten used to the fact that I was the one that would end up with a broken heart. I was starting to realize that saying yes to Katy was the beginning of trip to a very deep pit, from were I could never get out. Everytime Ryan was doing that suspense thing I would feel my heart almost on my mouth. I wasn't ready to leave. I wasn't ready for him to leave.

Then top 5 came. Me and Kris were on bottom 3. The only thing I could do was pray and ask to all the forces I could think of that Matt was the one going. I felt like a horrible person but I wasn't ready to be apart from Kris. Kris was safe. Me and Matt were left side by side. At the break he asked to have a word with me. "Adam, I know you're probably freaking out right now. Don't worry. You're not living. No one would want to break you and Kris apart." I looked at him and I saw sincerity in his eyes. "Thanks Matt… I needed that!" And in a second we were back on stage. I was safe, it was time to say goodbye to Matt.

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"Hey baby… Are you intending to get out of bath sometime soon? Alli called your cell 5 times already" Kris was outside the bathroom door. "I'm just finishing washing my hair! If Alli calls again tell her we're going meet her there!" I should really stop zoning out

"Hey Alli! Sorry we're late!" I'm glad Kris is here with me... He really need new clothes. He looked at me, then Alli. "Yeah, Adam was washing his hair, and we know what that means" She just gigled. "You really convinced him huh? I'm glad I didn't bet that with you!"

"I have my ways baby…" we're in the store… I'm picking Kris some t-shirts. He's looking at the black shirt with leather bands with a funny face. I have to point that out. "Kris? What are you thinking? You seem…"

"Impressed by the fact that you actually think I'm gonna wear that shirt? You know I'm not buying it!"

"Could you at least try it? For me?" I'm pouting, I know I'm pouting and I also knows Kris never resist when I pout

"Sure… But I'm not buying it!" I know he'll buy it. Alli knows he'll buy it. He just have to figure out he's going to buy it. "Go try it on!"

"Okay… But I'm not buying it! Did you two hear me?" Alli looks at me, then back him. "We get it Kris… Just go try it on!"

When he's gone she looks back at me "There's no way his not buying it. Right?"

"No way known by man at least…"

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_**Wow… My itunes only played sad songs while I was writing this. It's like 4 am, and I have class, and I couldn't stop writing this till I had ended it… Gotta go sleep now!**_


	5. ThumbNiel

_**My writters block is still here... Hope this chapter doesn't suck... The next one will be up soon. I promiss I'll make it up to you… **_

_**XOXO**_

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When he's gone she looks back at me "There's no way his not buying it. Right?"

"No way known by man at least…"

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"I can't believe you convinced me to buy that shirt!" We're back home, Kris is looking at the shirt like it's something from another planet. "Really! How did you and Alli made me buy this shirt?"

"I didn't made you do anything! I just said you looked really hot in it!" Kris is looking at me like I'm telling some joke. "Yeah, sure Adam, that's the only thing you did... I'm not wearing it" Yeah, I know he's not wearing it outside our house, but he really looked very hot in it. He looks like he's reading my mind "Okay, I'm not wearing it outside the house..." I grin "That's more like it..." He grins back at me "I really wanted to know where this power to convince me doing something I don't want in the first place comes from"

What Kris doesn't know is that he has the same power over me that I have over him, maybe more... He can get me to do anything, I mean, I bought, and actually used, a plaid shirt...

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"C'mon Adam! You made the right choice, you'll be much better singing with Alli!" I was lying in our bed [yeah... we had decided to share a bed,we would always end up sleeping in the same bed after a making out session] looking at the celing, feeling guilty. "Yeah, my voice sounds better with hers, but now you'll have to sing with Gokey... And I'm sure he'll give you a hard time"

"You think I can't handle Gokey?"

"Sure you can baby" Then I rememberd something "Wasn't Katy suposed to come today?" He looked at me like he didn't wanted to talk about it "Yeah... she is coming, she's giving me a call when she gets here".

I felt my heart ache... Kris was going to spend the day with Katy, and that didn't felt right. They had only spoke trough the phone since this whole me and Kris thing started. I was afraid. What if he decided to be only with her? I don't think I could stand it now... I knew we would end up soon, but I wasn't ready for us to be finished now...

"Hey, Adam, are you okay?" Kris was looking at me with concern in his eyes. "Sure, I just spaced out a bit..."

"You were thinking about me and Katy, weren't you? Don't worry Adam, I'm not letting go of you that easily..." That was just what I needed to hear, but I didn't knew if he was going to feel the same way after seeing his wife. Fuck! I couldn't believe I was having an affair with a married guy. And I was falling deeper and deeper in love with him."I'm going to eat something..." And with that I stood up and went out the door. I couldn't be at the same room as he at that moment.

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Kris is talking on the phone... talking is an understatement, he's screaming on the phone. "It's my week off! I won't do it! You're crazy if you think I'm going to that!" He listens for a bit, I know it's not over yet. "I know that! You don't have to trow it on my face! I'll talk to you later!" He's now looking at me with his 'I'm sorry' face. "Who was it, Kris? C'mon don't get all stressed" He's still looking at me with that face." It was my manegement… She told me I have to go to an opening with Katy tonight" He's looking down, like he always does when he's upset. "Don't worry, baby, we still have the rest of the week" I'm not gonna lie… I am upset, but telling Kris that won't change the fact he has to go.

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I was in our room… listening to my Ipod, trying not to think about Kris and Katy, when he came in. "Hey Adam… "

"Hi Kris. How was dinner?"

"Weird… I felt weird the entire meal, like there was something missing. Seeing Katy made me realize I miss my family but at the same time made me realize I haven't been missing her. I just…"

"If you need time to think I'll understand"

"Right now… I just want to lay down a bit" With that he layed down, next to me.

Kris is looking at his tumb as we wait for the nail polish dry"I can't believe I'm let you do that! I mean, I never painted my nails… Can't it be black nail polish?" I can't help but grin at his drama… "Kris, this was your idea. And blue is better for you! Goes with your skin" He looked at his hand like he knew he wasn't going to win the argument. Then he glares at me. "I just wish I could bring you with me to Conway…" I felt like someone was squeezing my heart… "I don't think it would work… But look at it from the brightside: It's only a day!"

"If I can't take being away from you for a day, I can't imagine how it will be being away from you for a month.. I think I'll go crazy!" That was the day I found out that drama was Kris' middle name. I couldn't help feeling my heart warm from what he was saying anyway. "Shouldn't I be the drama queen here?" He just smiled. His lips brush against mine seconds before his cellphone started to ring. He broke the kiss and looked at his phone like he was going to kill whoever was calling. "It's Katy, she's being calling me the whole day to make sure I won't forget anything. It's really starting to annoy me" And with that he went answer the cellphone.

Looking at him talking to her I didn't feel, for the first time, like he was going to live me for her. If you ask me I can't tell you why. I wished I could take him to San Diego. That's when I had the idea, taking the nailpolish from my nail, that way, I would carry a piece of him with me just like he was carrying a piece of me.

When I started taking the nailpolish he looked at me pushed the phone aside, putting his hand on the speakers "You just did your nails… why are you taking it off?" I looked at him, god his eyes always make me feel good. "Well, if you can take a piece of me for Conway… I can take a piece of you to San Diego". He looked at me with such an amazing smile that made me want to push him to bed and kiss him until we were both dying from the lack of oxigen. But I couldn't and he was already back to the phone.

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"OMG Kris! Could you put on a suit?" Kris is wearing jeans and a black shirt. "I know you don't want to go, but you have to dress properly"

"There's no way I'm gonna win this argument, is there?"

"I don't think so"

He's looking at me like he's trying to find out what his chances are. "Okay, I'm putting a suit. But if I get there late it's your fault!"

"Don't worry… I'll make it up to you when you get back" He's giving me a wicked smile. "I'm sure you will"

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I loved to see my friends, sing at my old high school. Kris was textin' me all the time, and I was happy for that too. We would be back to the mansion the next day, but it was like we were never going to see each other again.

When I finally had a time to breath Niel sat next to me

"Hey Adam. We need to talk" He was serious, I got worried "Is something wrong?"

"I just want to know something… You and Kris… Are you together?"

"Well… Kinda" He looked at me like he already knew that. "You really like him don't ya?"

"I do…" When he opened his mouth to say something I just kept talking "And I know this is wrong, but I couldn't let him go… I also know I have great chances of getting out of this with a broken heart, but I just can't end this now. I know I shouldn't have accepted Katy's offer" The last part was more to myself then to him, but he heard it anyway "What do you mean by 'I shouldn't have accept Katy's offer'?

I never talked to anyone but Kris about that. Actually I never even really talked to Kris about that. But I had to, take a bit of that weight from my chest. "It was Katy's idea. Me and Kris together. She said we were away from home and that she could see the way we looked at each other." Neil's eyes were huge. "It was her idea? Wow… I never saw that one coming"

"Neither did I Neil. Neither did I"

"But how exactly this… agreement... works?"

"It's simple. When Idols tour is over, me and Kris are also over. That's the only condiction"

"And you think that will work?"

"At first I did. Now I'm sure it won't. But I can't back out, I'll take what I have and enjoy it."

"Okay… well. If you want to talk, I'm here".

"Thanks man"

It was good talking to someone outside about that crazy thing me and Kris were.


	6. First I

_**I'm so sorry I took this long to post the new chapter! So… this is a "hot" chapter… this one is definitely rated m… the sex parts are in italic, if someone decides not to read them. The chapter is called First I because it will be another chapter called First.**_

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"Okay… well. If you want to talk, I'm here".

"Thanks man"

It was good talking to someone outside about that crazy thing me and Kris were.

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When I got into our room, Kris was already there, laying on the bed, looking at the sealing. "Hey Kris!" He looked at me; a tear ran from his eye. My heart skipped a bit "What happened? Is everything okay?"

"No Adam, It's not okay. I was home, with my family and with Katy and I could only think about you, what you were doing, who you were with. I'm really fucked up!"

I didn't knew what to say. I just sat beside him and let him talk.

"Is okay that I wished it was you sitting next to me on that crazy parade they were doing?" He layed down. His head on my lap. "Is it okay that I didn't felt comfortable or home there and now I feel like I'm where I belong just because you're here with me?"

"Let it all out, baby… You'll feel better" That was the only thing I could think to say to him that moment. I wanted to know what meant what he was saying, but my questions could wait until he was okay.

"I'm afraid, Adam. We're down to three, one of us can go home this week and I'm not ready to be away from you. I'm not ready to let you go"

"Me neither, Kris. We'll work this out. We'll end up fine"

"How?" I felt the fear in his voice. "I'm not sure… But everything happens for a reason."

We stayed in silence, his head on my lap and my back on the wall behind the bed… we slept that way.

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"Hello?"

"Hi Adam! I'm just calling to tell you that you're perfect and I love you!" Shit! Kris is drunk… that's never a good thing. "Loveya too baby. How much did you drink?"

"Not much… two double whiskeys… and… a tequila!" Great… Just… great. "Let me talk to Katy."

"Can I know why?"

"No… Let me talk to her"

"Ooookay" Imma gonna kill her… She knows, as well as I do, that Kris drunk is a really big problem. He never watches his mouth and talk too much… and right now that could be a problem.

"Hey Adam! How are you?" Ow… and here I was thinking things couldn't get worse.

"Are you drunk too?"

"Try to come to a party with your ex-husband, that you have to pretend is still your husband, and see if you won't get drunk too"

"Could you two not do something stupid?" That's an idiotic question… I know how this will end: Me in the back door with my car trying to sneak them out off the party. I hate when that happens.

"We'll do our best! Hey Kris? Don't do that! Shut up!" And the phone is dead… what is Kris doing? I'm gonna try to call again… No answer… I'm gonna kill them both!

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We were in our room. Danny had left a few hours before and we had nothing to do… I couldn't stand the silence

"So... this is our first and last night alone in the mansion… whatya wanna do?" I wasn't sure what to say. Me and Kris were alone and I felt like that I had to say something but then I felt like I'd said the worst sentence possibly for that moment. Me and Kris had never done anything more then make out and I felt like I was pushing him into do something he wasn't ready "Not that I meant something!"

"Well… too bad because I was actually hoping you had…" Okay… I'm being true to myself so I'm not afraid of saying I really wasn't expecting that.

"What do you mean?"

"Came on, Adam. I know you're probably being the best person ever waiting for me to be ready or something like that. I don't want to wait anymore"

He couldn't mean what I was thinking. "Okay. Before I get all crazy, tell me exactly what your point is!"

"_Better show then tell" And before I could ask what that meant he was on top of me. I could feel his desire through his hands, mouth, tongue… We ran out of air and he used the time for breathing to take both our shirts off. He looked at me for what could have been seconds but felt like hours "God! You look so perfect with no shirt on! I just want to kiss every inch of you" I had to blush to that, I wanted to say he was the beautiful one but I couldn't because he had already leaned down and we were kissing once again._

_He started kissing my jaw line while undoing my belt (that was when I found out he is really… Multi-talented) "You should really buy new belts" I couldn't answer… I was too busy remembering myself that I had to breath. He took his mouth from my jaw line end started kissing my breast, stopping at my nipple. I felt my body arch to his tongue's touch, I felt my body shiver in response to his bite, I felt my heart race when he kept making his way down my stomach._

_When he started pulling my pants down I wore the rest of sanity I had to speak. "You know you don't have to do this right?" He looked at me, his eyes black with desire… not only desire, need "I don't have to… But I want" with that he bite the skin right above my hipbone and kissed his way to my erection. I couldn't watch… I knew that if I looked at him it would all be over. And it was too soon._

_He liked the head, I used all the strength I had left not to come that moment. He was licking my entire cock, base to head, doing wonderful thing with his tongue. I had lost my ability of making coherent sentences and all that I could do was moan. When I least expected I felt his lips around the head of my cock. I knew I wasn't going to last long. He started making small movements, sucking hard… It was like torture. A sweet and loving one, but still torture. I felt my cock sliding out of his mouth, I heard a pop" Look at me." I couldn't open my eyes and look at him… "Adam, look at me"_

_His voice has hoarse … I couldn't not look at him. Seeing his mouth around me and look into his desire dark eyes was more than I could take "Kris… I'm… Kr…" He sucked even harder… He didn't had to ask twice. I came into mouth; I came so hard I saw stars. He kept sucking until the last drop was out of me._

"_You look so perfect when you come… Did anybody ever told you that?" Then he looked a bit unsure "Was it good?" I was still trying to come back to earth but I found words somewhere_

"_Perfect" That was the only thing I could think. I pulled him closer to a kiss and felt he was still hard "Now, is my time to take care of you" He looked like he wasn't expecting for it "What? You thought I wasn't going to return the favor?" I didn't gave him time to answer._

_I bite his shoulder, hard, I knew it was going to leave a mark, but I didn't care. I started sucking his nipple and he was moaning… Cursing. I took his pants, kissed my way up to his cock, planting small bites in his tights… He was just the right size. Not too small, not too big. As my lips touched his dick his hands were tight, pulling my hair. He tasted good. I fought against myself to keep my eyes open, I wanted to see, to record every moan, every spasm, every little move he did. He looked down at me for a brief moment. His breathing got more erratic. "Ad… Adam… I'm…" I knew he was waiting for me to pull but I wasn't going to. I sucked him harder and harder. I had never saw someone look so perfect, in peace, when they come._

_I laid beside him. Waiting for him to get his breath. "God! You're really good at this"_

"_You too hon"_

"_I think in my case was just luck… you know, it was the first time I sucked someone…" He was blushing and I gotta tell you, I couldn't believe in it._

"_Really? So you're natural…"_

"Thanks…" And he was sleeping. I tried to, but my mind wasn't turning off. I had only one more week before he was going back to Conway, to spend an entire month with his wife. The only thing I knew was: I was madly in love with Kris Allen.

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My cell is ringing. "Katy! Is everything okay?"

"yeah, yeah… we just don't know how to get back home and you're Kris life saver so I figure out you could pick us up. Save him from me once again" And then she hanged off the phone. She still wasn't used to the fact Kris had picked me instead of her. She was cool most of the times, but we could tell she was still a bit bitter.

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Kris was the American Idol. I was so happy that I had to use all the strength I had not to kiss him when Ryan announced the winner. Our goodbyes were full of tears and promises. "I'll call you everyday, and text every hour!" Kris said wile heading to his car. "Me too, Kris. I'll miss you!" My heart was so tight I couldn't even feel it.

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	7. Rolling stone

**-. Okay... I have to say that this chapter is mostly about Adam's Rolling Stone. I dunno why, but I alway had the idea that Adam and Kris spent a lot of time talking about it… Kris making fun of Adam. It seems something they would do. Don't ask me why. **

**-. So, the thing is… I got a bit carried away so this chapter doesn't have the "present" version of Kris and Adam.**

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"I'll call you everyday, and text every hour!" Kris said wile heading to his car. "Me too, Kris. I'll miss you!" My heart was so tight I couldn't even feel it.

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"Kris? Kris! Could you please stop laughing!" I wanted to kill him "You're lucky you're in Arkansas! I'm serious!" He gained some control over himself "Let me see if I got this record straight – no pun intended: You're calling me to say that in your Rolling Stone interview you said you had a crush on me and now you're embarrassed?"

"Yeah, I don't see what's so funny in that… And when I realized what I had said I told them you were really open minded but that you were married and 100% straight…" I was cut by his hysterical laugh again "What now Kris!" I was starting to get _really _angry "Well, Adam… baby… I'm not even 50% straight and you told Rolling _fucking_ Stone that I was 100%. I'm going to buy the magazine, I'll read it then I call you back, okay?" I thought that if he read it _without_ me on the phone it would be better. At least I wouldn't have to listen to him laughing his ass off. As usual, when it was about Kris, I was wrong, but I didn't knew that yet, so I agreed. "Call you later Adam!"

Only when he hung up the phone I noticed that he had said he wasn't even 50% straight… I would have to ask him what he meant by that.

My phone rung, I was sitting in my computer desk, going trough some songs to my album. When I saw Kris name at the ID I felt weird… what would he say about the interview? I answered

"So… did you read it?" By Kris' little laugh I knew that he had liked an found tons of things to mock me about.

"Well… I did! I'll tell you what I found… let's say… interesting, okay?"

"If I say no… will it stop you?"

"Never!"

"In this case... please do"

"_Is it smog that makes everything looks that way? Or is it glitter?- _You really said that didn't you?"

"Yeah… But it could be glitter! It should be actually… glitter makes everything seem better!"

"Why I'm not surprise? Movin' on… I'm totally gonna pretend I didn't see the pacifier thing…"

"And I appreciate that…"

"'_You got me in a rare form: No filter' _I didn't even knew you **have** a filter!"

"This is going to be long… isn't it?"

"It might. You should make yourself confortable… '_I'm going to glue rhinestones on my eyelids, bitch! That's right _American Idol _in plantform boots! You ain't voting anymore!' _another one that didn't surprise me."

"Hm… you were the one to whom I said that line"

"Yeah, I know **that**, what I'm not surprise is that you told that to Rolling Stone. Next one is…"

"You're really reading my interview to me?"

"Sure… otherwise I would forget what to tease you about!"

"That's just mean… ya know?"

"Yeah… I do… so, let's keep going!" Ugh… there's no way Kris would let that go easily… "I'm totally going to overlook the whole sticking it in there part…"

"And once again I appreciate that…" I decided to lay down… There was no way I could go through Kris' teasing sitting down.

"You really told them all the truth, huh? I mean, everything that there is to know about a person is in here!"

"Like you didn't knew all this stuff already…"

"I knew… The thing is: The rest of America didn't… Aren't you worried?"

"I am… but what difference does it make? They would find out anyway, at least, this way, I can tell it, no especulations or gossips"

"You're right… that makes a lot of sense…. What's up with this Zac Efron thing?"

"What? We were talking at the 17 again premier and the subject appeard and I asked him if he wanted to go to the Burning man, he said yes, that's all"

"You think he's gay?"

"I don't know Kris" I really didn't… Still don't. That guy makes me confuse

"I liked what you said about the gay community…"

"Yeah… that still makes me kind of nervous…"

"Did Neil really said the whole album thing?"

"He was **really** drunk…"

"Oh… your so alike…"

"Kris?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Shut up"

"…"

"What? Nothing more on the interview for you to mock me about?"

"Don't think so..." I hear Katy's voice on the back "Hey Kris, baby? You're not coming to bed?" When I looked at the clock I got startled… It was 12:30 am "You should go… I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Then maybe you'll have found new things to mock me about."

"Okay Adam… I miss you"

"Me too baby" And the phone went dead… He had no idea how much I was missing him… I needed to go out, I wasn't able to sleep after our talk, and I couldn't stay home thinking about Kris and Katy. I called the one person I knew would help me…

"Hey Brad! What you think about going out?"

"Hi Adam… When?"

"What about now?"

"Lemme guess… You had a fight with your boy"

"What? Wait, who's my boy?"

"Who else would be? Kris!"

"He's not my boy… We're friends"

"I know you too well to believe your lying…"

"Okay, okay. But we didn't had a fight… we just" I couldn't speak… I couldn't say my feelings out loud, it was like they would became real. More then it already was.

"I'm going to your house… We can talk, I can see you need it"

"Thanks Brad…"

Half hour later Brad was at my door with a bottle of tequila." Thought you would need a bit of alchool."

"You were right… Come in!" I told him everything… maybe not everything, but what he needed to know about the arrangement between me, Kris and Katy.

"Wow… I'm guessing your in love with him now"

"Yeah… I am. And I'm fucked up too."

"Why did you accepted it in the first place?" If I knew things would be easier… but I didn't "I have no idea… Anyway, Kris is coming spend two days here…"

"When is he getting here?"

"The day after tomorrow…"

"You'll take him clubing with us, right?"

"Sure! So… whatya think about what I told you?"

"I have some ideas… but first I gotta see you and Kris together… Dunno why, but I feel like there's something more there" I had no idea what he was talking about "And what would that be?"

"I don't know… if I did I would tell you. I'm hopping that seeing you and he toguether I'll find out. Now, changing the subject. What the hell was that Rolling Stone interview?"

"Don't, please… Kris spent two hours mocking me about that.. Maybe not mocking, but telling me the parts he tought were interesting"

"I can bet my ass he started with the smog and glitter quote… didn't he?"

"Yes…"

"You said our relationship was like a workshop. What the hell?

"Oh… that…"

"Yes, that"

"I mean like we were both learning how was to be with someone, that we were always talking to see if we could change things to make everything more confortable…"

"You're full of bullshit you know? But I have to agree with that"

"Good to know"

"And also, you had to say you like dick… didn't you?"

"Sure thing, baby"

**P.S: I have nothing against Zac Effron. Not my fault Adam said to Rolling Stone that he would take him to the Burnin Man. I couldn't let that go!**


	8. First II

**-. Soooo sorry I took this long to update… I had testes in college, it was my b'day and I couldn't find time to write and I'm pretty sure I had a writers' block… I hope this chapter is good! =^)**

**-. Okay… Another Rated M chapter…And I think It will be 3 Chapters called first… idk… I'm kind of seeing how this goes; taking by the fact that this fanfic is everything I never planned it to be. **

**-. As always **_**italic **_**means SEX**

**-. Hope you enjoy it!**

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"You're full of bullshit you know? But I have to agree with that"  
"Good to know"  
"And also, you had to say you like dick… didn't you?"  
"Sure thing, baby"

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"Morning baby" Kris looks like he just got out of a battle field. His hair is pointing to all the possible directions. "Morning… Feeling better?"

"If by better you mean not puking then, yeah, much better" He looks serious "Kris? Is something wrong?" He's sitting in front of me "No, I mean, I hope not…"

"What is it?"

"Last night I had an epiphany… I don't want to hide anymore. I can't hide me being gay, us being together, anymore" I… I can't believe I can't trust my ears anymore "Are you serious? Because we gotta agree that last night you were drunk, I think you should put a bit more thought in this"

"It's true I was drunk yesterday, but I've been thinking about this for a while now…I can't stand having to sneak out with you, pretend that I'm still with Katy. This is hurting the three of us" I… I can't even think straight. I've been waiting to hear this for the last year and now I don't know what to do with it. Maybe he feels my anxiety, maybe that's why he's doing that. We've been together for a while and I'm always saying I would never get back to the closet. Maybe he thinks that being with him is being on the closet. "Oh my god, Kris! That's big. Are you sure? I don't want to push you into doing something you don't want to"

"You never push me into doing anything… I think we can agree that you're overanalyzing again" Am I? I don't know anymore… "I do that a lot, don't I?"

"Yeah, you do. Most of the time is kinda cute… Now is just not one of those times" I can see the certainty in his eyes… He's actually doing that because he wants to. "Kris! I'm so happy" I'm hugging him, maybe a little too tight, but I need to feel his body close to mine… as close as it can get. "How you're planning on doing it?"

"Well… I don't want to do it in a magazine… It's gotta be some place I'm comfortable and people won't change my words"

"Any place in mind?"

"I don't know yet… I'll put more thought into it when my head doesn't hurt like a truck ran over it"

"That sounds good for me"

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I went to pick Kris up at the airport. He looked so perfect when he showed up… more perfect then I remembered, and I never thought it was possible. "Hi, Kris!" He said nothing, he just hugged me tight, just like on results nights during idol. "Wow! Missed you too!" I couldn't help grinning. God I had missed him, I couldn't even express how much! He took his head form my chest, looked at me and said "Hey Adam!" and then lower "What you think about going to your house? I really want to kiss you and I can't do it here".

"I think that sounds perfect"

We're in the car, the radio is playing Journey's Faithfully – And for some unknown reason I don't change the station… It seems appropriate...

And being apart ain't easy  
On this love affair  
Two strangers learn  
To fall in love again  
I get the joy  
Of rediscovering you  
Oh girl, you stand by me  
I'm forever yours  
Faithfully

When the song ends, Kris is the first one to break the silence "So… what are we doing tonight?"

"I was thinking about clubbing with some of my friends. They want to meet you"

"Do you think they'll like me?" I think it's so amazing how he worries about my friends liking him or not. I knew they would probably make lots of silly jokes, but at the end they would like him "How would that be? You're the most likeable person ever… and I like you, so they'll too"

"If you're saying… We really gotta go to the studio today… don't we?"

"Yes we do"

I barely closed the door and Kris was all over me. His kiss was demanding, needing, like he couldn't stand the need anymore. I felt exactly the same way. I inverted our positions. He had his back pressed against the wall; I was holding his hands above his head and could feel his erection through both our jeans. I needed more; I needed his skin against mine. I couldn't stand anything between us. Not clothing at least. I don't know from were but I found my voice "I think there's too much clothing…" I was cut by Kris "I agree… and I think we could go to your room… it seems much more comfortable"

"What are we waiting for?" Then I had looked at his lips, swollen, and I had to kiss him again. "Wrap your legs around my waist". Kris looked at me like I was saying something completely crazy. I kissed his lips again "I mean it!" He gave me one more look and then obeyed.

On our way to the room he started sucking my neck, I knew that was going to leave a mark but I couldn't make myself worry about it, shirts with high collar were made for this… maybe not, but those are only technicalities. Then he decided to bite my earlobe. I couldn't help but moan, press him against the nearest wall and kiss him again. For some reason he thought it would be nice to torture me a bit more, at least that's what I think since after the kiss he decided licking my ear and then start with something that reminded me of earfuck

We're finally in my room and Kris is finally in my bed… but there were still too many clothes on our way, so I proceeded to take his clothes off. "You look like you were made to be on my bed right now" Kris was blushing… I loved, still do, seeing him blush. "I was made to be with you Adam"

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We're lying on the couch… the sun is setting and we spent the entire day here… It feels so good I want to stay here till the end of our lives "You know, hon, I was thinking about coming out on Ellen. She likes you, she's lesbian, and she may support me, us… I think it would work" That kind off caught me of guard. "You're actually thinking about a talk show? That's brave. You do realize that coming out in a talk show it's probably going to be hard? It's not like me with the Rolling Stone"

"I know it's going to be hard, the thing is: If I can do it in a talk show, I'll be able to tell my story, how things really happened, in my own way. People will be hearing my words, me talking. With you everyone knew already, me coming out will be like a chock… Remember I'm the Arkansas, Christian, married-first-school- girlfriend boy. I can bet people will change my words If I do it in a magazine for example"

"That makes a lot of sense… You really thought about it, huh?"

"Yeah… I did. What you think?"

"What you decide it's okay for me" His eyes are actually begging for me to give me my opinion… "But I really like the Ellen idea… I believe she'll like that too" He's smiling

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Hands were all over. I couldn't keep my mouth out of Kris. It had been long, too long. "Adam… Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah… Anything" Although I could imagine what he was going to ask. "Do you, by any chance, would take bottom?" Yeah… Just what I had thought "With you? I do anything; I mean let you do anything"

Suddenly Kris was on top of me, kissing my chest. "But you gotta teach me, I never done this before"

"It's not something really difficult… You've never done it with a girl?"

"Once… but the alcohol level was too high and I can't remember much" I grabbed the lube from the nightstand. "Let's start with… fingering. You got to open me up"

"_Okay…" I heard him opening the tube and few seconds before I felt the cold sticky fingers touching my ring slightly. He pushed one finger inside. While he was pushing it further he leaned down to kiss me, probably trying to make me forget about the slight pain. Then he hit that spot, the one that would make me forget about the discomfort. I was still caught in that feeling when I felt the second finger getting in. "You have no idea how much I wished for this while we were away" Kris voice was low, hoarse, sensual. He was hitting that spot over and over again. The third finger was in, and I couldn't wait anymore, I needed to feel Kris. I opened my mouth to say something, but what came out was a moan._

_Kris started biting my inner thigh. Carefully avoiding my dick. His hand was cupping my balls and I couldn't wait anymore. "You're the biggest teaser I've ever seen… God!" He looked at me like he was the most innocent person ever. "I have no idea what you're talking about" Then he preceded to sucking my dick, like he was eager for it. His tongue was all around me. I dared to look down and I almost came when I saw him, with his mouth full of my cock and his fingers deep inside of me. He took my dick out of his mouth, with a pop, and got back to the small bites on my inner thigh._

_Kris picked up the condom and gave it to me. "Put it on me" I open it with my teeth, my hands were shaking too much. When I put it in my mouth, I heard his low, almost painful moan. He did beautiful sounds while I putting the condom on him. "Just go slow at first… it's been a while" _

"_Sure" I felt the head and the burning. "You're okay?" Kris looked worried. "Yeah… It just hurts a bit at the beginning"_

"_Do you want me to stop?"_

"_Don't you dare" The burning was gone and I jerked my hips so he could know he could move. It started slow, like he was afraid of hurting me. "Go faster… I…" I lost the ability of speaking as Kris started jerking faster and harder. I could see he was holding back a bit, and I was happy for it, at first, at least. He found a position were he was hitting that spot over and over and over again. I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. His moans were low, like his voice was two octaves lower. He closed his eyes, I could see that vein on his neck. His breath started to became erratic. By that point he grabbed my cock and started moving his fist, at the same rhythm. Our moans filled the house, it sounded like a melody… I came so hard I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see, I couldn't think about anything but Kris' dick and Kris' fist. I let out a loud cry/moan. Kris' name was the only thing I could say or think. He kept pumping until after the aftershocks. He came right after me, screaming my name. Pushing in harder and faster._

We laid there waiting for our breathings to get even. Kris slide out of me and I feel my body gets cold from the lost of contact. "That was just… wow"

"I'm guessing I did something right then!"

"Yeah… you definitely did it right."

"What time is it?"

"It's…WOW… we're late! And by late I mean, we have to be at the studio in ten minutes."

"OW SHIT!"

Me and Kris started running like crazy around the house, to make sure we weren't forgetting anything and then we went to the bath. I really wished we didn't needed going to the studio… I wish I could fuck Kris against the bathroom wall.

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**-.****Yeah… I know Adam was a bottom this chapter but **_**don't panic**_** (I just watched The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy... it's kind off a funny movie I must say... but the don't panic thing catches), I'll change that on the next chapter (or the one after it...)**

**-. Follow me on twitter: Neuma_S_J**


	9. Out

**WOW I'm on fire this weekend! Two chapters plus 3 drabbles! It's a creativity storm! =^)**

**And I'm pretty sure it won't last so I'll try to write another chapter or drabble**

**XDD**

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**Me and Kris started running like crazy around the house, to make sure we weren't forgetting anything and then we went to the bath. ****I really wished we didn't needed going to the studio… I wish I could fuck Kris against the bathroom wall.**

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

I got into the studio Kris was recording screaming. "Kriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis! Kris you're not going to believe! You're really not going to believe" He made some room for me to sit next to him on the piano.

"What I'm not going to believe?"

"P!nk wants me to record one of her songs! P!NK!" He looked at me like he wasn't believing

"Really? WOW Adam! That's huge!"

"I know, right? And the song is amazing, and I still can't believe… I mean… Oh my gooood!" I knew I was making no sense whatsoever… the thing was: Sense was made for people who wasn't going to record a P!nk song. "I don't think I'll ever find something better!"

"Wow Adam! Breathe!"

"Okay… thanks" Kris looked at his watch

"Anytime…. Let's go?"

"Yeah! We still have to go club with my friends!"

"I still think I'm not the right person for that"

"Yes you are! I'll glam you up, and everything will be okay!"

"Should I be afraid of the glam me up part?"

"No!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Today Kris is going to tell his publicist about his plan. I still think that coming out on Ellen is kind of huge. I mean, people expect everything BUT him coming out and coming out with me as his boyfriend is even more unexpected. I really admire his guts. It's true that this way he'll be able to say what he wants and the way he wants.

"You're not gonna believe what she said…" Kris is standing next to me, his hand on my shoulder. "What did she said?"

"Why took you so long?"

"What? Who took long to what?"

"That's what she said: 'why took you so long!'"

"Okay… that's the last thing I thought she'd say"

"Me too"

"So… when you're planning on coming out?"

"Well… I told her it had to be a good date for both of us… She said she can book me next Friday"

"WOW… that's quick! Today is Wednesday!"

"I know… But I have everything already planed on my head and it's more then a week away… There's only one thing I need to know…" He sat next to me, he looked unsure about something. "What is it?"

"Will you be there? No need to be out there with me, just in the backstage… I need to feel you close to me, feel your support…" I can't believe… He's actually asking me to go with him. He's looking at his shoes… I know well enough that he does that every time he's nervous. I can't believe he's actually thinking I'm gonna say no "Sure, baby… I'll be there the whole thing. Next Friday right?"

"Next Friday"

"I hate to bring her up but… what about Katy?"

"It's okay…I signed the divorce papers today"

"Wait, wait… Divorce papers? Since when you started the divorce?"

"When I choose you over her she decided to start the divorce. I just asked the layer if the papers I had were still valid. He said they were, I sign them, Katy had already signed them… and that's it"

"Wow… how did she react?"

"She was actually happy. She said that now she'll be able to live her life"

"This is moving so fast now… I can't believe that in a week we'll be free to be together outside the house" My cell is ringing… It's my publicist "Gotta answer… be right back."

"Hey, Adam"

"Hey!"

"So... Kris publicist just called me… Is he really coming out?"

"He is"

"Do you know how this'll be for you, right? I mean, it doesn't matter the truth, most people will say you're the one to blame for Kris becoming gay. It will be in every magazine, every tv show, every blog, every tweet."

"I aware of that… And I'm ready for it. I'll take whatever come my way because I'll be able to be with Kris, not hiding."

"Okay… I'll prepare the staff for what's coming our way. He's coming out on Friday so we could do a press conference at Saturday"

"I don't think it should be this close… maybe on Monday. Maybe we shouldn't do one"

"Think about it… a press conference would be a good thing"

"I don't really know… I think that what need to be said Kris will say. And If I feel the need of saying something more I'll just tweet it. That's what I do."

"Just think about it, okay?"

"Okay, bye"

"Bye"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"Hm… Adam? I'm not sure about this anymore… I mean…" I cut him "It's good, Kris… You're just not used to the eyeliner!"

"That's truth… Which shirt you think I should use?"

"Well… it depends… What jeans are you using?"

"The black skinny one"

"In that case, use the tight black shirt… You look really hot when you wear back"

"Just in black?"

"Nope… you're hot anyway… Especially if you're naked in my bed"

"Don't start something you won't finish"

"Okay… go change. Brad and Drake will be here in a bit"

"Who's Drake?"

"It's Brad's 'friend'"

"Ow… I see"

"Kris. Change. Now"

"I love when you get all bossy like this"

"Could you PLEASE stop being such a cock tease?"

"I'll think about it" He went change his clothes and I looked back at the mirror… fixing my make up. Taking Kris to a gay club would be interesting.

"So Kris… whatya wanna drink?" Brad had that smile on his face… I knew that smile too well "Hold on tiger! He's mine!" Brad just looked at me and laughed. Kris looked at us "I want one of those colorful drinks… they look good!"

I went to the bathroom and when I got back Kris was sitting on our table and some **unknown **guy was hitting on him, like almost on top of him. I saw that Kris seemed to be working just fine so I decided to find a place to listen. He was laughing his ass off.

The guy was speaking "I'm serious! You look just like that Kris Allen guy… You know? From Idol? You're cutter, but you definitely look a **lot** like him" Kris was almost cryin. When he managed to control his laugh he looked at the guy, seriousness in his eyes "I that get all the time… I don't even think I look like him! I don't even like that guys voice!"

"You may not like him, but you look like him" Kris was three seconds away from burst into laughs again so I decided to appear. "Hey hon… What are you talking about?" The guy looked at me and raised his arms in the air like saying 'Hey, sorry, didn't knew he had company' "I was just saying that he looks a lot like that Kris Allen guy"

"People always tell him that…" The DJ started playing Beyoncè's Crazy In Love "I love this song! Let's dance!" And before Kris could answer we were already on the dance floor.

After a couple songs, and a couple of drinks, Kris, for some unknown reason, decided to take his shirt off (not like I complained at the time and I'm still not complaining). He had glitter all over his body. "When did you do that?" I was really impressed "When I went to change my clothes… did you like it?"

"If I like it? I love it!" The DJ then started playing Massive Attack's Protection and Kris turned his back at me and started doing a kind of body roll. I could feel every inch of his body touching mine. His hips moved at the same beat of the song. I couldn't stand that for too long. I took his hand and pushed him to the exit. As we were getting out I saw Brad, laughing his ass off, and herd the end of the song

That's the way It should be  
Now I can't change the way you feel  
But I can put my arms around you  
That's just part of the deal  
That's the way i feel 

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

**-. I gotta say something: The music**** lyric? Totally unintentional… Just a coincidence… My friend was reading the chapter and she made me see the connection. Soo THANKS LETY!**


	10. Discussions

**-. When I started writing this chapter I realized that I'm a bit late on the "Idol" Kradam so this chapter will be only with them.**

**-. Another thing is: It might have only two more chapters… I'm thinking on doing some Extras or a "few years later" thing when I finish… but I'll see how the last chapter will be.**

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

**"If I like it? I love it!" The DJ then started playing Massive Attack's Protection and Kris turned his back at me and started doing a kind of body roll. I could feel every inch of his body touching mine. His hips moved at the same beat of the song. I couldn't stand that for too long. I took his hand and pushed him to the exit. As we were getting out I saw Brad, laughing his ass off, and herd the end of the song**

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

The time was passing to quickly... Me and Kris were apart but only for a wile. When I saw Brad again I remembered I had to ask him what he had meant the night I was freaking out.

"So, Brad… Do you remember that night I was freaking out? That you said you had a few ideas about me and Kris?"

"Yeah… I do…"

"Can you tell me now what were you talking about?"

"I can just tell you one thing: Don't worry… this, you two, will end up just fine"

"How can you be so sure?"

"Just trust me"

I know better then not to trust Brad. The only problem was that every single day Kris and I were closer and every single day meant we had one less day together.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The Idols rehearsal started and everyone (by everyone read everyone that cared, which means no Gokey) was helping me and Kris to sneak out. They were happier then us that we were still together.

"So… Adam" Lil started talking to me one day before the first concert. She had that maternal tone. "How you're feeling? I mean, we have three months ahead of us now." I pretended I didn't knew what she was talking about. "What you mean by 'how I'm feeling'?"

"Don't play dumb, Adam. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You and Kris. You only have three months together. How you feel about it?"

"I feel like shit! I mean, I'm in love with him, I can't stand a day without talking to him… so if I'm not asking too much, could you please not talk about it?"

"Okay, baby. Just know I'm here if you need to talk about it…"

"Sure" And I was out of there as fast as I could.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The tour was going without farther problems. I mean… we were together, the guys even stopped complaining (after a week) about me and Kris sharing the buck, sure Gokey always made weird faces when we were in there together and Matt never lost the chance to make jokes. I remember one morning I woke up with a red line on my arm. Until this day I don't know how it got there, but lets forget that. Matt was the first one to notice it.

"Wow! Kris was on fire last night huh?"

"It wasn't my fault! I didn't do that!"

"So you're cheating already?"

"Matt?"

"Yes, Adam"

"Could you please go fuck yourself?"

"You mean right now? In front of everybody?"

"Matt… Could you shut up?" Kris looked at me

"What you think about us giving him some inspiration?" He grabbed my neck and pulled me down, kissing me in a very demanding way. When he let me go I could only laugh at the others face. Matt, obviously, was the first one to talk. "You probably just put me out of sex for life!" Kris and I just laughed a bit more…

Our lives were perfect. We were happy, singing, with friends, with each other. Everytime I was on that stage, singing Starlight I could only think of Kris. I could only think of the time we still had together.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

In NY Katy came to see us (by us read Kris)… She was weird the entire night. Before we went to our rooms (Kris got his own because of Katy) Katy asked if she could have a word with me. "So… Adam. You and Kris are working everything just fine, aren't you?"

"Yeah… We're enjoying the time we still have together."

"You're really planning on ending this with the tour?"

"Wasn't that the agreement?"

"Yeah, but you two seam so tight now… I just thought you were planning something"

"We're not… just enjoying each other's presence while we can"

"If you say so…"

"You really don't trust us, Kris?"

"I don't know. After seeing you two together I felt something… I don't think this is going to end the way I planned"

"Kris loves you. I know he does"

"I know that too… The question on my mind now is: Will his love for me be enough for him to choose it over the love he feels for you?"

"Katy, I accepted a long time ago that I'm the one who's gonna end up with a broken heart in this thing… You're safe"

"Funny you saying that. I'm pretty sure I'll be the one with a broken heart here… You're the one who's safe" She didn't even give me time to answer. She just ran.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Being on tour with Kris was hard. I wanted to look at his eyes, stand next to him, touch him, kiss him, and sometimes, when he did that cute 'I'm not really comfortable with this subject' face I wanted to fuck him against the nearest wall. The most amazing thing is that I never really cared that I was still bottoming… I mean, I was with him and he couldn't change what he was used to do for me.

One night, a hotel night, thanks God, we talked about it.

"So, Adam?"

"Yeah Kris?"

"You really don't care? That you're still bottoming?"

"No, I really don't. I got to be with you, have you inside of me… Why would I care? You can't change what you always did…"

"But you can? I know you're not a bottom guy. Fuck! The entire world knows you like the top thanks to that joke you did on US magazine"

"Yeah… I gotta learn how to keep my mouth shut"

"I don't think it's a good idea you having your mouth shut"

"Oh, shut up! But seriously, I don't care. It isn't important"

"Okay then"

After that talk time walked faster then it should. In a blink of an eye my time with Kris was over. It was the last Idols tour concert. We were singing and I had never felt more connected to a song lyric then that day. I couldn't stop believing.

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**


	11. Can't let you go

**After that talk time walked faster then it should. ****In a blink of an eye my time with Kris was over. It was the last Idols tour concert. We were singing and I had never felt more connected to a song lyric then that day. I couldn't stop believing**

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

The next day I woke up with Kris' cellphone ringing. "It's Katy… She want to know when my flight gets there… " I couldn't say anything… I only knew that I was seconds away from crying like a little baby. We were back in L.A., in my new house, but I couldn't think about celebrating it. I could only think Kris was going away. Kris was going back to Katy. I couldn't understand why it was hurting so bad. This was the agreement, the tour was over. I knew I had to but I just couldn't let him go.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Kris looked at me, with those perfect chocolate color eyes; we were parked in front of the airport. "So… we're here…"

"Yeah… happy to be going back home?" I was trying to hide my pain.

"I don't know… everything is a bit odd right now"

"I get it"

"So… I'm going, otherwise I'm gonna miss my flight"

"Yeah, okay. Bye baby! I'm gonna miss you." He had no idea how much I was going to miss him.

"Me too… I'll call you when I get there, okay?"

"Sure" And then he was gone… when I couldn't see him anymore I just let all out. My face hit the steering wheel and the tears came out. The tears I was holding while Kris was next to me came out of like they wouldn't be contained even if I wanted to.

When I stopped crying, at least enough for me to drive, I went home. When I got there I felt lonely. I felt my heart sink. I got to my room, turned on the tv trying to forget that he was never coming back to me. My bed felt bigger, colder, without him. I remember feeling that I had screwed everything up…

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

One week later and a few, okay maybe a lot, lost phone calls later Brad was on my front door. Screaming and almost bringing the house down "Adam! Open the fucking door RIGHT NOW!" I didn't even move. I knew he was mad at me and Brad mad was the last thing I needed to see, but, thinking back, he saved me from myself. Brad got louder "If you don't fucking open the fucking door I'm gonna call the fucking paparazzi and the fucking cops!" I had to open the door after that one. I knew Brad would be crazy enough to do that.

"You say a lot of fuck when you're angry did you knew that? Anyway what you want?"

"What I want? Hm… Let me see… I want Kris to stop calling me because you don't answer your phone, I want to have a nice and quiet night of sleep without waking up thinking you could be dead, I want you to answer you FUCKING PHONE when I call, and you know why? BECAUSE THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD THAT CARE ABOUT YOU"

"Could you please stop screaming?"

"Adam… You've been locked in here for a week now. At first I thought you needed the time, but right now I'm worried. You get to get out of here."

"And where should I go? Arkansas? Phf!"

"Not Arkansas… you gotta get your mind busy…"

"I'm not that fragile you know that, right? I mean, sure I was feeling kinda sad after Kris went away but I'm better without all the wife drama" I knew He would never believe that, but I had spent a week convincing myself of that

"If that makes you sleep at night…"

"You want me to go out? Okay, I'm going to the studio. Is that enough for you?"

"Sure, but don't waste your time thinking I'm leaving… I'm going to the studio with you"

"If that will make you sleep at night"

"Yes it will" I remember feeling like shit as I was taking my bath. I didn't want to go to the studio, but I couldn't stay home, people were worried about me.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

We got to the studio and they didn't even allowed me to breathe… In a blink of an eye I was inside a studio with the lyrics of Can't let you go in hand. I couldn't believe that, of all songs we had to record, they choose Can't let you go. I started singing it and my heart got tight again… Flashes of my time with Kris started blinking in front of my eyes

_Guess it was not meant to be  
It's not as bad as it seems  
It only burns when I breathe_

I remembered the moment on the car, in front of the airport. I could see he was torn, I could see that he didn't knew what he was feeling but, at the same time, I was too busy trying to pretend everything was okay. I remembered his brown eyes. And I remembered how it was painful for me to see him leaving to go back to Katy

_You saw the way that I fell  
But I'm better off by myself  
That's the tale I like to tell_

I remembered the relive on Brad's face when I opened the door that morning, I remembered how hard was to lie to my mum and tell her I was just taking a week off after all the crazyness that was idol and that it had nothing to do with Kris

_But it's not that easy for me to say goodbye  
Everything in me wants you back in my life  
Can't let you go_

I remembered the morning that Kris went away. How hard was for me to try to express what I was feeling into every touch, every kiss. I remembered the week home. I remembered the cold that was sleeping on my bed, sitting on my couch, just how isolated and cold everything felt without Kris

_It feels like the dawn of the dead  
Like bombs going off in my head  
Never a moment of rest_

I remembered trying to sleep. I remembered the headaches, the sadness of the sunrise without Kris next to me, the pain that the sunset made me feel without his touch.

_Nothing kills more than to know  
That this is the end of the road  
And I know I gotta let go_

I remembered the Idol's tour… the last show, singing don't stop believing with him. I remembered the silence backstage, everyone's faces. How everyone seamed to be careful enough not to mention goodbyes next to us.

_Wish I could just find a way  
To have all your memories erased  
Cos constantly they're haunting me_

I saw, just like a movie, all the good moments I had with Kris. I saw the teasing, the hugs, the Wednesday nights, the little touches, waking up cuddling, sleeping cuddling, having each others arms to run to when things got too crazy, the jokes, long lasting looks. I saw his eyes in front of me, like they were right there.

When I finished singing the song I just sat on the ground and cried. Brad got into the recording studio running. "You didn't had to sing THAT song, you know that, right?" After a while, sitting on the ground and crying I managed to say something "I know that, but I had to do it. And I got to a conclusion." I was only sobbing, quietly, at that point. "And what conclusion was that?"

"I won't let Kris go this easy. I'll talk to him, tell him how I really feel and see what happens"

"Okay… I think it's a good conclusion… Wanna go home?"

"Yes, please. I gotta pack. Who knew? I'm going to Arkansas!" I remember trying to give Brad a smile, but I didn't succeed.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Brad drove the entire way in silence and I didn't mind it. I had too much thinking to do. Was I going to Arkansas? What was I going to do when I got there? Would I call Kris and ask him to meet me somewhere or I was going to his house?

All those questions were still inside my mind when I opened the door. I remember that my eyes immediately went to someone sitting on my living room couch. Kris.

When I didn't got into the house Brad pushed me "What are you doing just standing on the door?"

At the sound of Brad's voice Kris turned to the door. He got up and ran on my direction

"Adam! Thank GOD you're okay! Why didn't you answer my calls?"

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**I swear to you that the last chapter will be posted soon…**


	12. Ellen

**Okay... so it's going to have another chapter... This one is only Kris**** (and Adam) on Ellen**

**Underline ****= Ellen**

_**Italic**_** = Adam**

**Normal = Kris**

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"Adam! Thank God you're here!"

"_I promised you I was coming, didn't I?"_

"Yeah, you did, but you took so long to get here!"

"_Well… I__ was choosing the new backgrounds to the International part of the tour… And seeing some new clothes… and then I had and argue with the closet… "_

"Not gonna ask…"

"_Okay… So, how you're feeling?"_

"Like a truck is two feet from me, and I know it's going to hit me, but I can't move…"

"_I had never heard this one"_

"Well… I'm a very creative person" A girl comes next to us "Kris? You're on in a minute."

"Thanks. Well, I gotta go. Wish me luck!"

"_You won't need it."_ I want to kiss Kris so bad right now… At least, when this is over I'm gonna be able to kiss him wherever and whenever I want to. I'm next to the camera… I want to as close as I can get to Kris, in a place he can see me and see I'm here with him.

"Just back from he's tour last year's American Idol winner Kris Allen!" Everyone is standing, clapping. He's looking at me, I see his face relaxing and he's even daring to dance. I'm happy he's comfortable.

"Hi Kris! How you're doing?"

"I'm fine! And you?"

"Me too, but this is not about me… it's about you" He gave that cute laugh he uses when he's uncomfortable "So, during the last week we heard about you getting a divorce. And you're fans want to know what lead you and Katy to it"

"Well… It was lots of little tings, ya know? We got married to young, and we spent almost no time together before I went to L.A. to Idol. We grew apart during Idol, and then came the Idol's tour; I finished the album recording then came the album release, the album promotion, then I spent less then a month home and got back to my solo tour. We didn't spent time together and although she was always saying that she was okay with everything and that I was living my dream and that she was happy with what we had I could see she wasn't happy. I know her long enough to see when she's not actually happy."

"It must have been hard"

"It was… I changed a lot during the last year and I could see that she missed the guy I was before and I couldn't go back to that person, ya know? It wouldn't be fair. To Katy or myself."

"And that's why you're getting a divorce?" I'm happy I told Ellen to put a bit pressure on him… I knew he was going to need it. He's looking at me. His eyes assuring me (maybe himself?) that he was going to do it.

"Not only. Along with the changes I also found out something about myself that changed our relationship completely. Before I tell what it was, I need to clarify that even if the divorce only came out now, we haven't been together for a while." Okay… It's time. Kris is going to say it

"And what was that?"

"Well, during Idol I fell in love." The own from the crowd was cute "And I only realized I was in love when me and the person were apart, after the tour." Another own is coming from the crowd

"And you told Katy you were in love with another person?"

"At first I was to confuse about it, so I told nobody about it… I had to accept first. I was afraid that if I told her I could see it was nothing like that and our marriage would be destroyed." Another own came from the crowd but I can see they're getting restless… they want to know who it is. "When I was sure of my feeling I told her and she told me she couldn't say she was surprise… She said she already had figured I was in love with another person."

"And that was what changed your relationship?"

"Actually was who I fell in love with." He's taking a deep breath, I can see him shaking. "The thing that changed our relationship, actually changed my whole life is that" He stopped. He's looking at me, I wish I could be right there, next to him. I bit my bottom lip and nod. He doesn't look away. He takes another deep breath. "What changed everything is that I found out… I'm gay" Everyone is silent. I swear I'll be able to hear if a pin falling to the ground. He just continued "And I fell in love with Adam… Adam Lambert"

My heart stopped. The room was silent. Everyone, except me, Kris and Ellen, looked chocked. Ellen started clapping and the audience is clapping with her. They are standing, cheering. Kris looks like he took the world out of his shoulders

"I think this is how coming out should be! Receive a standing ovation for being true to yourself and to others" Kris is laughing and looking deep into my eyes. The cheers are starting to stop.

"Hey Adam, live your hiding spot and come here kiss your boy" She doesn't have to ask twice. I'm kissing Kris, I front of the crowd and the cameras. I'm the happiest person alive right now.

"So, we're going to take a break and when we get back we'll talk to Kris and Adam." The cameras went off for the break.

"Congratulations Kris! Now you're an openly gay singer"

"_And prepare yourself to be called like that for a long time… well at least after everyone get used to the idea that you're gay"_

"Wow guys! You really know how to cheer me up, huh?"

People on the crowd are screaming congratulations and kradam and other stuff I can't really understand. "We're on in 30 seconds"

"Are you ready?"

"_Shouldn't I be asking you that?"_

"We're back with Kris Allen and Adam Lambert. So, I think I'm talking for your fans when I say you two make a perfect couple. How long have you been together?"

"Two weeks…"

"_Something around that"_ I wish I could say we're together for almost a year… it would be too much, right?

"Adam, aren't you worried about what will happen now?"

"_Sure I am, but I'm gonna face it. I know now that the press will have a full month but what's the point on lying? Me and Kris are together, we don't want to hide it"_

"And you Kris?"

"I'm worried and, before people start talking, Adam didn't turned me gay. It's something I always had in myself… I just pretended it didn't exist. Thinking back it was probably the wrong choice to do but I'm glad I decided to be real, with myself and with you all." I can feel the audience energy. It's a good energy.


	13. A new Beginning

**As this is the last chapter and I've got a LOT of things to finish in here I'll do first "Idol" Kradam and then "Now" Kradam.**

**-. Kris is underlined and Adam is normal****, Brad/Tommy is bold Katy is between two quotes and, well, sex is italic**

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**At the sound of Brad's voice Kris turned to the door. ****He got up and ran on my direction**

**"Adam! Thank GOD you're okay! Why didn't you answer my calls?"**

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

"Er... Hi Kris... Hm… whatya doing here?" I couldn't believe Kris was in my house. He had flown all the way from Conway to see me, see if I was okay. But I kept thinking that was just something friends do…

"Well… I spent the past week calling you, then when you didn't answer your phone for two straight days I started calling Brad" He looked at Brad with something that looked like gratitude in his eyes… That day I didn't understood why he had gratitude in his eyes but, thinking back, it was probably because Brad had assured him I was okay and that he dragged me out of the house. "Then when Brad didn't knew anything about you I started worrying. Then today I called both your cell's and they were off. I got into a fight with Katy left the house and took the first plan here. I went to Brad's house and he wasn't there, I came here and you weren't here and I decided to wait till you came home…" He looked a bit lost. I hugged him so really tight, like I was never going to see him again, but I just was happy because he was there. "Wow, Kris, You didn't have to do this!"

"Yeah I did. So… why didn't you answer your phone?"

"I was kind of having an argue with myself and I didn't want to talk to anyone"

"Couldn't you answer the phone at least once to tell me that? I wouldn't have kept calling!" He looked angry but at the same time relived. That's when I realized what he said about having an argue with Katy. "Why did you fight with Katy?"

"She didn't want me to come. She said that your life was non of my business anymore and that I shouldn't come. By the way, I'm gonna need a place to stay. She said that if I came here we were over." I herd the door closing and I realized we were still standing next to the door and that Brad had lived. "Let's go to the living room"

"You broke up with Katy to come here and see me?"

"Yeah… we weren't working out already and I needed to see you."

"Kris… you didn't have to do this, you know? I'm gonna be okay" he looked at me for a few seconds. I knew I was tense but he had just told me that he had broken up with his wife for me, to see me.

"Yes I did. Adam…" he stopped and looked at me, he looked like he didn't knew if he should say something. "me and Katy weren't working out anymore… We were fighting all the time. We weren't a couple anymore."

"Sorry to hear that, Kris… What happened?" I couldn't bring myself to think it was because of me. It could just have been being apart on idol, him having an affair…

"You happened. I feel in love with you. I hadn't actually realized that until this morning but I think she had already figured that out. She was jealous of me talking, calling, well she was jealous of me doing anything that reminded me, or her as a matter of fact, of you." He looked even more unsure. "I want to be with you Adam. You and nobody else…" I was silence the whole time. For me it looked too much like a dream. I couldn't believe what he was saying. "Adam?"

"Are you sure? I mean…" I just couldn't keep talking. The tears started to run from my eyes. Kris was telling me he wanted to be with me.

"I've never been more sure in my life!"

"this looks too much as a dream for me. I mean, you're the perfect boy form me, but you were married and we had an amazing time together and now you're telling me you want to be with me? This is too much"

"I wanna be with you. This isn't too much. It's fate. Everything that happened was for us to be together. This is how my life is supposed to end. Me and you, growing old together, seeing the world, taking the it by storm. I love you, Adam, and I'm sorry it took so long for me to see it" He looked like he was ready to live. Like he believed I didn't want him

"Ow Kris… I love you too! I'm sorry that I was an ass. Sorry for things that I've done"

"You did nothing! The only thing you did was love me and wait for me. You don't need to wait for me anymore. I want you, only you. Please, don't cry!" He hugged me and I felt like there was were I belonged… That we were a perfect fit.

"You're not going? You're not gonna live me anymore?" I knew I sounded like a kid, I had never felt more unsure in my entire life

"I'm not going… You're the best man I ever knew, there's no way I can ever go. There's no way I'm living without you"

"Dreamgirls? Really?" I gave him a small laugh… Who would think about Dreamgirls?

"Yeah… When I was in Conway my neighbor was listening to that song and it reminded me of you… That should have been a sign that I was in love with you…" I just hugged him. I hugged I kissed and when I realized we were in my room

"How did we got here?"

"Well… I'm gonna prove how much I love you. I want you to take me."

"What? Are you sure? You don't have to do this! I know you love me"

"I was thinking about it while I was on the plan. I want you, in every way possible." I wasn't expecting that.

_There were hands everywhere, between the door and the bed or clothes were discarded. Kris was lying under me. __"just… go slow okay?_

"Sure don't worry"

_I took the lube and put it in my fingers _"Relax" _I pushed one finger inside and kissed him. I felt him tightening. I was taking my time. Two fingers, nice and slow. I didn't want to rush anything. I started scissoring my fingers. _"Just relax". _Three fingers. I found his prostate__"Woow! This is good"_

"I introduce you to the prostate" _I kept pushing hitting that same spot, over and over again. __"I need you inside of me… I'm ready Adam…"__It was just a whisper but I herd it loud and clear. I took my fingers and heard a wimp. _"My fingers are kind of slippery, can you open the condom?" _he took it form my hand and ripped it with his teeth. I put it on. I started pushing it slowly. _"shh… it hurts a bit but I promiss you it will get better" _I kissed him trying to divert the his mind from the pain. _"If you wont me to stop, just say it, okay?" _The head was in, I felt a tear. __"It just hurt, I don't want you to stop. Just give me a second okay?"__ I waited until he moved, I started pushing in. I kissed his temple, his cheek, his neck and then his mouth. I was completely in. I took his hand, lacing our fingers together. I was still. I knew how much the first time hurt. __"You can move"__ I started moving slowly, fighting against the urge of pushing hard into him. I started going faster. Hitting that spot. He looked at me, gave a squeeze in my hand and with the other brushed the hair from my forehead. __"Go faster"__ I started going faster, and faster. I knew I wasn't going to last long. He was moaning under me and everything felt surreal. __"Ha... harder"__ I leaned back and started pumping his cock, in time with my trusts. I was on the edge but I had to see him come. "I…I'm… Adaam" He came in my hand and, as I felt him tightening I came too. Hard. Was the best orgasm of my whole life._

After a while I woke up with my phone ringing. "Could you answer that? I wanna sleep!" I moved my arm and went to answer the phone.

"**Hi Adam… Just called to see how it went with Kris"**

"We worked out"

"**By we ****'worked out' I'll understand 'we talked, had mindbloing sex and he's not living anymore'"**

"Yeah… He's not."

"**I told ya everything was going to work out**** just fine, didn't I?"**

"You did… You were right"

"**My favorite words!"**

"I always thought it would be 'let's take this clothes off'"

"**Nooo, those are my second favorite words. I'll let you go back to your boy"**

"Talk to you later. Bye"

"Let me guess… Brad?"

"Who else would it be?"

"I really missed this ya know? Lying next to you…"

"Me too. I messed you so much…"

"We'll never have to miss each other again. You're stuck with me for life"

"That sound good enough for me"

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**"I'm worried and, before people start talking, Adam didn't turned me gay. It's something I always had in myself… I just pretended it didn't exist. Thinking back it was probably the wrong choice to do but I'm glad I decided to be real, with myself and with you all." I can feel the audience energy. It's a good energy**

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

"So, Kris... I've got a surprise for you!"

"Really? And what is?" I open the door.

"SURPRISE!"

"Wow!"

"I decided that I was giving you a coming out party! Did you like it?"

"**You better like! I had to paint that 'Happy coming out' sign… Did you know they don't sell one? There's happy birthday, happy wedding, I'm glad you came out of prison, It's a boy, it's a girl, but no happy coming out signs"**

"I liked it! You're serious about the 'I'm glad you came out of prison' sign?

"**Yeah… maybe I went to some weird places"**

"Just maybe, Tommy? And just for me to know… which one of your girls you brought today? I don't wanna mess with names…"

"**I'm alone today… not that it's none of your business"**

"Now Tommy is just mad because he won't be kissing you anymore!"

"**Thanks for remind me of that… I'm gonna drown my sorrows on alcohol! Katy is coming and I wanna watch your talk from the bar… with my camera on hand"**

"You know… Katy and I are just fine!"

"**I know that… I wanna record your face after she gives you the news… you're gonna**** want to see it later" **And Tommy is gone… What the hell was he talking about?

"Hi, guys. And nice party Adam!"

"Thanks Katy! I'm glad you came!"

"So, Katy, how's single life?"

""No that single…""

"Meaning?"

""I'm dating… A girl actually""

"WHAT?" Me and Kris screamed, the entire party is looking at us

"**Perfect shot! I knew that your faces would be priceless!"**

""Well, after this whole thing with Kris I thought I could give it a try, you know? And I liked it! She's somewhere…"" She's looking to the sides, probably looking for the girl ""The good thing is that, although she's Adam's fan"" And here was I thinking she couldn't make me more surprise ""She's lesbian, and a girl, so she isn't going to live me for you""

"Don't worry. I want Kris and Kris only"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Soo… the party went pretty good…" We're getting ready for bed… It's been a full day. "I don't know if I said that to you before but I loved the coming out party idea"

"I loved meting Katy's girlfriend… It's still weird say Katy's girlfriend, but she's a nice girl! And I gotta ask Tommy for that shot of our faces…"

"Me and Katy were the perfect couple, huh? A closet gay and a closet lesbian!"

"Not as perfect as you and me"

" There's no couple in this universe that's as perfect as you and me"

"True… let's sleep… Tomorrow we gotta face the storm that you coming out formed."

"And we'll face it together!"

"I almost forgot!" I jump out of bed, got to my desk and take the little velvet little box. "I bought this for us" I open it. Kris' eyes are shining. "You bought us matching rings?"

"And they are engraved."

"Kradam, always and forever… This is beautiful, Adam"

"Just to anybody else knows you're mine"

"And forever will be"

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**And that's it!**

**Don't ask me WHY I made a lesbian Katy.**

**XOXO**


	14. Extra  The press conference

**-. So… apparently I can't let this go (no pun intended and I know it isn't funny) and a few things keep popping in my head…**

**-. A = Adam**

**K = Kris**

**P = Publicist (Patt or patricia – idk why but I like this name)**

**I = Interviewer**

**-. Italic is backstage**

**Extra**

**The first press conference**

**P – **I know you all must have questions but Kris and Adam are a bit late. In a few minutes they'll be here.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**A -** _I think Patt is gonna want to kill us_

_**K –**__Why would that be, huh? I know! We are FORTY minutes late…_

_**A – **__Not my fault you decided to wake me up with a bj…_

_**K – **__Not my fault you're…_

_**P – **__Why the hell did you took so long? Scratch that… I don't wanna know. Go to that _

_stage and blow their minds._

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

A –Good afternoon everybody!

K – Sorry we're late… So, who's first?

A – You with the red tie. I like your tie by the way

I – Thank you Adam. So, Kris, how did you decided to come out?

K – Well… First of all I thought that wouldn't be fair, not for me, my fans, family or Adam if I didn't. Another thing I saw is that gay people are always stereotyped and I'm out of that, let's say colorful, gay way of life. Another thing is that me coming out of the closet just prove that some people just realize they're gay after a long time and that it won't be good if you keep it to yourself. You gotta show the world what you're really about.

I – Thank you.

K – The lady with a green dress

I – Adam, weren't you worried about Kris coming out? I might have seen the things that were written about it. Like people saying you turned Kris gay.

A – I was worried. The image everyone always had from Kris is that he was the Christian, cute, laid back, married-young-and-with-the-high-school-girlfriend kind of guy. He was the boy every mom wished for their daughters… He coming out as gay messed with a lot of peoples mind. They think that because he was a Conway Christian boy I could just mess with his head until he believed he liked boys and that he liked me. What people seam to fail in notice is that you're born with this. You don't became gay, you are gay. The only thing that really changed now is that mom's will have to dream with Kris being their son's boyfriend.

I – Have you read the things people are writing about you two?

A – I did… It's good for a laugh! This morning I read somewhere I had put a spell on Kris for him to believe that he was in love with me.

K – They even had the spell and the counter spell for it… I wonder where they got that…

A – Me too… You in the pink shirt.

I – And Katy? How did she got the news you were gay? And that you were in love with Adam?

K – I can't say she liked the news… She handle it pretty well, I mean, I didn't got hurt, things weren't broken. She was just… surprise. One day I was her husband and the other day I was telling her I was gay. Sure, it wasn't like this, ya know? For me were little things that at the end I put together...

A – And then he found out that all the Kradam fans had put it all together before him.

K – You are laughing but it's true. A friend told me to look on a few things fans had wrote. There were pictures, videos, quotes, looks, touches. Everything was there. I really wondered how had I took so long to find out I was in love with Adam. I think that the fans were too addicted to us…

I – I was one of the fans, and I watched the entire season 8, just because of you two and I gotta say: You weren't subtle… Specially you Kris. Your eyes gave it all away. The way you looked at each other was the same you use now.

A – See, Kris? I told you that was because of you that the whole Kradam thing started!

K – Thanks… Now he'll never let me forget that…

A – My pleasure! You with the baby blue shirt

I – You're wearing maching rings. Can you tell us what they mean and is there anything engraved on them?

K – They mean nothing like you would like to print… I know, I know… They only mean we belong to each other and when we're apart we can always look at our rings and remember the other.

A – And I know fans will go nuts over this, but it has "Kradam – always and forever" engraved on it

P – Sorry guys, but we don't have much time… They got a plan to catch

K – Thank you all for coming!

A – 'Till next time!

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_**P – **__That went well…_

_**K – **__It did… Thanks for putting this together in such a short notice_

_**P – **__You're welcome… it's just because I love you guys!_

_**A – **__We love you too_


End file.
